Training Guilt
Colorado Runner Magazine is celebrating its seven year anniversary. Our first print issue was published in September, 2003. The business has grown and changed over the years, and my personal life has changed quite a bit too. I’ve added two kids and a dog to my growing family.
I recently started training for a marathon. Again. I’ve run more than 50 marathons in the past 15 years, but finding the time for the long runs and the increased weekly mileage has only gotten more difficult as I’ve gotten older. Plus, I hate to admit it, but I’ve gotten slower, so my long runs take more time than they used to. With a wife, a three-year-old, and a baby at home, I have a lot of priorities competing for my time before I even think about running. With fall marathon season upon us, a lot of Colorado runners are hitting their maximum mileage right now as they gear up for race day. Are we selfish if we spend this time training instead of spending it working and with our families?
In my 20s, I really didn’t have to think about it. I had a lot of free time after work with nothing better to do anyway. Being young, single, and childless, I was in peak shape. But now it’s hard not to feel guilty slipping out early for a two-hour Saturday morning long run.
But an article I read recently by sports psychologist Dr. Mitchell Greene stated that athletes are possibly better parents, happier spouses, more caring friends, and more efficient workers. She says that sometimes the challenge and chaos of what athletes deal with can help us be better people.
She recommends three things to help you deal with the guilt. First, write down a list of what you think you should be doing instead. Whether it be reading books to your son or mowing the lawn, writing it down will help you prioritize your free time. Second, create protected times on your calendar to spend quality time with your spouse, kids, and friends. By scheduling your quality time the same way you schedule your workouts, you won’t worry about fitting it all in. Third, if at all possible, try to create times when your family and friends can be a part of your training. Maybe you can meet your buddies for a run after work or you can cool down in the pool with your kids after a workout.
I tried several of these tasks in the last few weeks. Some really helped, like making lists of things to get done and scheduling my time more efficiently. But some things didn’t work out so well. I tried to push my son in the jogging stroller on a training run, which I figured could count as spending time with him, as well as giving my wife a break. I only made it a half mile before he started to scream that he wanted out so he could run too. I also decided to do my weekend long runs with some of my guy friends so we could hang out and get our workouts in at the same time… but so far, I’ve only made it once in the last month. I guess trying to juggle friends, family, training and a job is a work in progress.
So here’s to long training runs, better relationships, and more balance in life!
Happy trails!
Derek